A Poem of the Repenting Monk
1.
Who will give a sea of weeping to the head of the unfortunate one,
Who will give a fountain of tears to his eyes?
Weeping, O my eyes, draw shadows away (remove the darkness).
Oh me sinner, the fallen one!
2.
Neither the drops of the sea nor the sands of the shore
Can be matched to the disgraces of my crimes
they exceed
In respect to their number they exceed the stars and the rain
In respect to weight they surpass the mountains.
3.
For to what sins am I not addicted,
Who was always devoted to corrupt habits?
Having been detached from God, I lived by
The laws of the flux.
4.
I scorned the teachings, I dared the forbidden things,
I destroyed many people by perjury.
Harmful to myself, useless to others
I am pressed together on both sides.
5.
I am not worthy to look with my eyes at heaven,
Nor to express the name of God with my lips.
Tormenting guilt forbids me to tread upon the threshold
Of the holy temple.
6.
Now too after having been dedicated to sacred rites
I am being tempted by the enticements of my old life,
Just as the laws of the tyrant (master) lay claim
to the runaway slave
7.
I am trying (my best) in tears, my stonelike heart is stiff;
I draw near (persist) with prayers, my wandering spirit moves away;
I seek the light, suddenly shadows of imaginings
alight.
8.
Anger tries to subdue the savage one, pride tries to subdue the swollen one,
The throat tries to subdue greediness, vainglory tries to subdue vanity
The barbaric crowd of all crimes gnashing its teeth
Tries to put (me) under.
9.
I often resist and I often take up arms,
And having clashed with myself, I fight with myself,
But as long as the law of the spirit yields to the laws of the of the flesh,
It becomes plunder to the enemy.
10.
Often my heart is lit with a divine fire,
And my mind surpassing itself is siezed on high
But having been pressed with the weight of inborn corruption.
(My heart) gives way.
11.
Unapproachable light quivers as through fissures,
To which my mind attentively (thirsting) stands open,
At the sightings of which, behold, the facing shadow of the flesh muffles.
[The sight of which, behold, (causes) the shadow of the flesh to dull, i.e. the shadow lifts and the light is seen]
12.
I deplore the soul wounded with a thousand Weapons of the ancient enemy (and) destroyed in its sins.
You, (already) dead, voided the laws of death,
Touch it (the soul), let it rise again.
13.
Reward of the just and hope of the penitent,
Give (me), Christ, your hand and me having been uprooted from the lowest depths to which one can fall
Release me from the completed ones (those harms which I have already done to myself), hence from (the harms) which threaten
Seize me.
14.
You do not despise the tears of the sinner;
You take back the repentent tax collector;
You promise that you are giving life to the Highway robber now placed on death row by you.
15.
I beg you in the name of these guts of piety:
And free me from these chains of so many sins.
I deserve anger, pour forth mercy,
O font of piety.
16.
Allow that I may always follow your commands
And render me (me) worthy of supreme (heavenly) rewards.
You who, being equal, to the father and the holy spirit
Govern all.
Amen.